I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
