I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Randomize
