I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
