Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
