in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
