dude i'm inner monologue high
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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