You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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