Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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