And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
