Say something about gay babies.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I had to cum in my sink.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
