Your tits are I can't wait for
Non-Jews are for practice
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
