Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
