Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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