hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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