The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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