you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
