I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize