You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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