My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
