why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
