I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize