The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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