woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
