Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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