My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
