you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
they're like a gay fantastic four
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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