i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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