I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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