Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
