This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
did i walk over a car last night?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
