This is not my ceiling
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
