I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
