I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
