Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
