What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize