Cold hands, warm shart.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
