She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
