8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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