you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
