Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
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