don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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