Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
