I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
