i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
