google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Someone signed my nipple.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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