I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
