I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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