Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
