Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
