haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
