doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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