I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
