someone get that fucking seahorse.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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