For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I stole a fireplace last night.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
