Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize