dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
The air taste purple.
Randomize
