I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
