I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
