Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
