Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
