nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Mom said you looked used
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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